


Further Away

by MayLovelies



Series: The Longer I Run [2]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 12:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16933149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayLovelies/pseuds/MayLovelies
Summary: Sequel to “Up in the Clouds”. After an argument and growing distant from Hide for months, Kaneki attempts to mend loose ends only for him to arrive at Hide’s home and find that he has left.





	Further Away

**Author's Note:**

> this is a sequel to up in the clouds!

_ Give me some space, Hide. Give me, Touka and Ichika space...things are different. I can’t spend time with you anymore. I’ve moved on with my life.  _

 

Those were the last words Kaneki had spoken to Hide some weeks ago before they ceased contact. They were spoken out of fury and anger yet, Kaneki was not at a good place then. 

The moment those words had come out of his mouth he regretted them deeply but there was no taking them back. 

 

Hide had left not a second after Kaneki’s request and after that life...just carried on. Kaneki wanted to apologize, but he never got the time too. At least, not until now

 

“Hide, it’s me--Ken. Can we talk?”

 

As of current, Kaneki stood outside of his friend’s apartment building. He’d been knocking for near twenty minutes with no response. He supposed that Hide was still bitter toward him over how things left off, so understandably, speaking to Kaneki wasn’t his first priority. 

 

Still, he knocked hoping for some answer. 

 

It wasn’t until the sun began to set, and the draft from the night began to disturb Kaneki, did he get worried. Kaneki had been there for some time now, and Hide had not yet responded. 

 

“Hide, it’s me--open up.” Kaneki had twisted his hand around the door handle expecting it to be locked yet was surprised when he was able to push it open. It was like Hide to do this--to leave his door unlocked so any suspecting prowler could walk in. 

 

Nevertheless, Kaneki stepped over the threshold, observing the neatly cleaned room. 

 

That was one thing that threw Kaneki off; Hide rarely ever cleaned his room nor could he keep it clean for more than a couple of hours or so. Something about the space made it seem like it had been this way for a while now, almost like something out of a magazine. 

 

“Hide!” Kaneki called frantically, still receiving no answer. 

 

The apartment seemed emptier with every room Kaneki entered until  _ finally,  _ he reached Hide’s bedroom. The sheets were made, and the room was clean. The only thing out of place was a folded piece of paper sitting near the pillow. Kaneki was quick to grab it, nearly ripping it as he straightened it.  It read,

 

“ _ Ken,  _

 

_ Let me start by saying that I’m happy for you, really I am. A beautiful wife, a cute daughter and more than anything...a family and people who support you. It’s what you deserve, you’ve always deserved it.  _

 

_ I’m not mad at you for our argument or for what you said to me. I never was. I was hurt, and saddened but angry; never. Not at you. You could never do anything to hurt me, and I think you should know that. _

 

_ But, I realized now that, in this new life you are making for yourself--I have no place. If our argument and these weeks of silence between haven’t proven that, I don’t know what will. I’m sorry Kaneki for leaving like this, because as you’re reading this, I’m either in a plane or overseas and for my own mental health I can’t tell you where I’ve gone.  _

 

_ If i told you I was leaving, you’d try to stop me and I couldn’t let that happen. Everyone around me is starting their own lives. You, Touka, your friends...everyone except me. So I applied for a job months ago, and I recently got hired. That’s where I’m headed now, to my job, to start my new life. _

 

_ Before I end, i want you to know that I always loved you, even as I’m writing this. Maybe that’s the real reason I left, because working to find you and seeing you with someone else, tore me apart. Don’t get me wrong, I have no ill intent toward Touka but, I have to look out for myself. _

 

_ I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, but good luck Ken. Congrats on being a dad.  _

 

_ Hideyoshi Nagachika.”  _

  
  


Kaneki nearly ripped the paper from clenching it too hard. Eventually, the words became illegible as tears began to fall from his eyes blurring the ink. 

 

For the first time in his life since his torture with Jason, Kaneki felt trapped. He was stuck, with no sense of direction or what to do. He still could not quite process that Hide was gone. Gone without a word or without a warning, as if his relationship with Kaneki meant  _ nothing... _

 

And then it  _ hit  _ Kaneki, like a punch to his gut. 

 

He was getting a taste of his own medicine. He never considered the stress he put Hide through when he vanished. When he made new friends and a new life, and didn't think to make Hide apart of it.  The only difference now was that, Kaneki still had a family and friends without Hide...Hide as always, was alone, running into a far off land with no support or help.

 

Kaneki folded the paper and slipped it into his pocket. 

 

He left the room, then the apartment until he had made it a comfortable distance away. His tears had already been shed and now, all he felt was guilt and bitterness. It was hard not to be angry at Hide, yet impossible not to be angry at himself. 

 

Still though, he didn’t lose hope. 

 

In the sky, or across the seas, Kaneki would find Hide. Hide  _ was  _ his family, no matter what Hide thought and Kaneki had lost far to much. He wouldn’t lose his family again, he wouldn’t lose Hide. 

 

Kaneki would do  _ anything  _ to find Hide for he loved Hide too and he was not ashamed to admit it to himself. He fucked up, and what he had done with Touka could not be taken back. But Hide wouldn’t get away again, not now, not ever. 

 

Kaneki would find him.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re interested in my tg content, my tumblr blog is [cloud-chimes](https://cloud-chimes.tumblr.com/)!! I write headcanons and will probably start taking requests!


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